Afraid
by LWDamon
Summary: Chad/Sonny."I'm scared of men, okay? I can't trust them. I'm afraid of love. I'm afriad of trusting people. I'm afriad of it all."


**oOoOoOoOo**

**R&R**

**I don't own Life With Derek.**

**Enjoy. [:**

**oOoOoOoOo**

"Portlyn, you're talking without a scrip again .."

"Chad, _please_?"

"No."

Portlyn's been trying to convince Chad to go a on fake date with to make Nico jealous for the past half hour. But Chad, being as sweet, caring, giving, and unselfish as he was, wouldn't do it.

"Why not?"

"The Chad couldn't be bothered-"

"The Chad? _Really_, Chad?" Sonny interrupted, while crossing her arms.

Chad whipped around, "Sonny."

"Chad."

Portlyn grabbed Chad and whispered in his ear, "It could get Sonny jealous, too."

"So, Portlyn, when do you want me to pick you up tonight?"

"8 is good."

"Rainforest Cafe?"

Portlyn giggled,"Sure, Chad," she kissed him on the cheek and walked back to the falls.

"You and Portlyn? I was wondering when it was gonna happen."

"Yeah .. wait, _what_? You were _waiting_ for it?"

Sonny gave him a confused nod, "Yeah ... ?

"Oh, by the way, Chad. I have a date same time, same place."

"That's wonderful, Sonny. You keep thinking about how _lucky_ you are to get a date, while I _leave_," he said as he turned and walked away.

Sonny glared, "You think you're so great, Chad Dylan Cooper. But. But. You're not!" Sonny yelled at his retreating figure.

That was lame and she knew it.

Chad waved his hand in the air, in responce.

xXxXxXxXx

Chad groaned.

Sonny was with a different guy. He had a medium skin tone; not too tan, but not too pale. Deep blue eyes. And long, dark brown hair.

"What's wrong?"

"Look over there."

Portlyn looked over to see Sonny with some guy, "Oh."

"Yes, _oh_."

"Do you noticed any similarities between you and him?"

"No."

"You have the same skin, hair, and eyes. You look almost _identical_."

Chad ignored her.

"Have you seen Nico? Oh! Nevermind. He's over there with the fat blonde kid," she smiled.

xXxXxXxXx

Sonny was watching Chad and Portlyn.

"Oh, Danny, you're _so_ funny," Sonny said loud enough for Chad to hear, through giggles.

"Mhm."

Sonny blushed," Umm, yeah."

xXxXxXxXx

Chad sighed, "This _isn't_ working."

"What are you talking about? Nico won't stop staring."

Chad just stared at her.

_Wow._

"Oh. You mean with Sonny."

He banged his head on the table.

_Stupid._

xXxXxXxXx

"Oh, hey, Chad. I _totally_ forgot you were gonna be here tonight," Sonny smiled as she walked over to them.

"Hello, Sonny," he said dryly, "Who's that?"

"Danny, Chad. Chad, Danny. Portlyn, Danny. Danny, Portlyn."

"Hey, man," Danny waved as he put his hand around Sonny's waist.

"Yo."

"Hey," smiled Portlyn.

Sonny sat across from them and Danny followed.

"Why don't you sit down?" mumbled Chad.

xXxXxXxXx

Chad looked at his watch.

_8:45._

He's been sitting with them for 10 minutes. It feels like it's been at least 45. He didn't like this guy. He didn't like Sonny giggling his name. _Daannny. _He didn't like them flirting either. He just didn't like it.

He _especially_ didn't like her outfit. It was a dark blue dress. It was sleeveless with straps on the side of her arms. It didn't show too much cleavage, but just enough for Chad to not like it. It was skin tight and came down to about her mid thigh. She was wearing black nylon's. She was wearing black hoop earings, black chained bracelett, and a black chained necklace with a silver heart on it. She was wearing black heals. And big dark blue and black zebra bad with it.

Chad just wanted to leave.

But he couldn't do that.

All of a sudden Danny smirked and leaned in for a kiss, "Thanks babe."

Chad's eye's widened.

The worst part was she blushed, kissed him back, and giggled afterwards.

He coughed, "As much as I'd love to watch you shove your tongue's down each other's throat - "

"_Chad_!" she screeched.

"_Sonny_!" he mocked.

"Sorry, man. I didn't know you wanted her - "

"I don't," he seethed.

"If you say so."

"_Excuse me_? - "

"_Chaaaaad_, where's - " started a whinning Portlyn.

"I don't know where he is, Port. Okay?"

She moaned.

"_Wanted_? Don't you mean _liked_?"

"Yeah, baby. That's what I ment."

"I don't think it is."

"Yes, it _is_. You know what? No it _isn't_. Whoever likes you is out of their mind. You're annoying, confusing, bipolar, and not funny. You're just _hot_. I'm outta here," he got up and started to leave as Sonny's jaw dropped as her eyes started to water.

Chad saw that Sonny was about ot have a meltdown and got up, "What the hell's the matter with you?"

"Dude," Danny started, but Chad cut him off by punching him square one in the jaw.

Danny fell over and Sonny jumped up, "Chad!"

_Oh. Shit._

xXxXxXxXx

The manager kicked them all out, besides Portlyn, who ran off to find Nico. Sonny eventually found out it was fake to get Nico jealous. Danny ran off with some brunette. While Sonny and Chad took a walk. They stayed silent the whole time. They eventually found their way to a park and they sat on the swings.

Chad looked at his watch.

9:24.

They sat in silence untill Sonny spoke up.

"Does this mean you care?" she said quietly without even looking at him.

He didn't say anything.

They stayed silent for 45 minutes untill Sonny snaped.

"Chad!" she said, looking right at him.

"_What_?" he snaped back.

"Talk to me.." she whispered.

"About what?"

"Everything."

"Okay. Well, it's 10:00, there's a full moon out, we're at a park - "

"You know what? Forget it."

"Fine."

"_Fine_."

"Good."

"_Good_."

"So, we're good?"

"Ohh, we're _so_ good."

They stayed silent for a few seconds untill Sonny started hysterically laughing.

"Wait, forget what? And why are you _laughing_?"

She didn't answer. She just kept laughing.

"Sonny?"

She continued laughing.

"Monroe?"

She continued to laugh, but she started to calm down.

"_Helllo_?" he was getting annoyed.

She stopped laughing and said nothing. They were silent, yet again, for 15 more minutes.

"_Ugh_. I can't take this," Sonny moaned.

"What?"

"This silence. My unanswered questions. _You_!"

Chad was slightly hurt, but brushed it off.

"Chad?"

"What are you talking about?"

"_Everything_."

He sighed.

_Time to be serious._

He was tired of this. And fighting. He wasn't in the mood.

"What were you talking about earlier?"

"_Everything_. You. Me. Danny. James. All of them. _Caring_. Feelings. Emotions."

"What? And why were you laughing."

"Because no matter how mad we get or how deal the fight is. Whether it's real or not. We always say the same things."

"Oh."

"I'm tired of this, Cooper. We need to talk."

"Tired of what, Monroe?"

She rolled her eyes, "You know what I'm talking about."

He sighed again, "Where do you want to start?"

"Why you punched Danny."

"Because he was _scum_."

"And because you _care_."

"No, because I _didn't_ like him."

"Because _he_ was on a _date_ with _me_."

"Because he treated you like _shit_ and fucking _dumped_ you!"

She didn't know what to say. Silence grew again for the next few minutes.

"Sonny?"

"Chad?"

"Here," he gave her his jacket because he saw she was shivering.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"Yeah," he mumbles.

"We still need to talk."

"About what now?"

"Why we fight."

"We fight because .. I don't know. We just _do_. He _never_ agree. We _can't_ help it."

"No. I think there's _another_ reason."

"Like what?"

"Tension."

"Okay, we fight because of tension - "

"Not just tension. Unresolved tension."

"What?"

"Unresolved sexual tension," she smirked.

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I'm talking about. I know. You know. _Everyone_ knows!"

"Okay.. so .. ? "

"So .. ?"

"What now?"

She didn't know what to say at first, "I .. don't .. know .."

"Me neither."

She looked down. Silence fell upon them again.

"Chad. Chad, I - I'm _tired_ of this."

"Of what?"

"_Fighting_."

"Sorry. We can try not to if you want. I - "

"No. Not that. I'm tired of fighting our _feelings_."

"What feelings?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

And he did. He remembered when they were on gotcha. When they were "taking a break." What they said that no one else knew. They were talking about it and decided it was best if they _ignored_ their feelings. _Forget_ them. They _fought_ them. They knew it wouldn't work out. Their shows where enemies. They couldn't be together. Kinda like Romeo and Juliet, only not really. But they were only 15. They were immature. They couldn've been together. And they didn't plan on it not working.

"Yeah, I know."

"It's not working."

"Yeah, I noticed."

"So .. ?"

"I don't _fucking_ know, Sonny."

She didn't say anything.

"Well, I'm _tired_ of it."

"We too," he sighed.

"Well, - "

"_Fucking. Shut. Up._ I fucking know. Do you think I _like_ it?"

She stayed silent.

"I don't. I don't like _wanting_ you. I don't like being _jealous_. I don't like these _feelings._ I don't like your _stupid cute_," he paused, "Wanna know what I hate the _most_?"

"What?"

"_Loving_ you."

"W - what?"

"I hate it even more that you _don't_ love me."

"How do you -"

"I'm not _stupid_, Monroe. I know. And wanna know what? We're not 15 anymore. We're 19. We're not immature like we were back then. We could be together - "

"But - "

"No buts. The only reason we're not together is because either you don't want me or we're _afraid_."

"Afraid?"

"Did I stutter?"

"Of what?"

"Of loving someone. Of feeling something. Of wanting someone. Of getting hurt. Of breaking up. Of _loos_i_ng_ the other person. There's a lot of fucking things to be afraid of."

"I'm _not_ afraid."

"Ohh, then you don't want me."

"No, I - I just. I .. I don't know, Chad! _Okay_?"

"You're _scared_."

"Fine. I'm fucking _scared_, okay? I'm scared of loving, feeling, wanting, hurting, and loosing you. I'm afraid of breaking up. I'm afraid of never talking to you after that. I'm afraid one of us may move on. I'm afraid of getting hurt. Getting my heart broken. I'm afriad of trusting you. I'm afriad of _you_!"

She stood up and started walking in circles.

"_Trusting_ me?"

"Yes, _trusting_ you. You're a _player_ and heartthrob. What if you cheat on me? Or leave me for dead?"

He was really hurt by that, "I wouldn't do that."

"I don't know that."

"You're afraid of me?"

"More like loving you. But it's too late for that."

"Okay, then let's take a chance."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I just - "

"Can't trust me."

"It's _not_ you. Believe me."

"Then who is it? _Danny_?"

"I - um. Yeah, him too."

"Sonny, what are you talking about?"

"I'm scared of men, _okay_? I _can't_ trust them. I'm afraid of love. I'm afriad of trusting people. I'm afriad of it _all_."

"What? Why?"

"How well do you know me?"

"I don't know? Why?"

"My - my Dad. Have you ever wondered where my Dad was? You've met my mom many times."

Chad felt guilty. He never really thought about it.

He didn't say anything.

She started crying, "My Dad left when I was a little girl. He cheated and cheated and cheated on my Mom. He abused her, too. Then she just got up and left him. I haven't heard from him since except when he tried to spend time with me to impress his new girlfriend's, who eventually all dumped him. Chad, no one's ever _wanted_ me. No one's ever liked me. _Everyone_ I ever trusted, left. I'm not used to it. I just - "

He up and looked her straight in the eyes, "Sonny, I _wouldn't_ do that you. You know that, right?"

She didn't say anything. She just continued to cry.

"Sonny?"

"No, Chad, I _don't_. I don't know _anything_ anymore."

"Sonny, whoever did that to you is scum. And they don't deserve anything."

She started crying harder and he took her hand and led her to a bench, "Shh. Come on."

They sat down and she leaned on his chest and started crying, "Shh. Sonny. Shh," he hugged her and stroked her back.

After 20 minutes, she calmed down. She was still on his chest and he was stroking her hair.

"Chad?"

"Hm?"

"Why do you care about me?"

He was shocked, "I just do. Tell me, why you've been on so many dates if you don't trust guys?"

"Because I didn't _like_ them. I didn't _care_."

He stayed silent for a while, "Oh."

"Chad?"

"Yeah?" he was still stroking her hair.

She pulled off his chest and kissed him. Full on.

He pulled away. He felt like he was taking advantage of her while she was upset.

She started crying again, "See? Even _you_ don't want me!"

"Shh. No, it's not that. I just don't want to take advantage of you."

"I - I'm n- not dr - un - k!"

"But you're emationally down."

"I don't care. I can't take it anymore. I need _something_."

He sighed, "Come on, Sonny."

She didn't bother to ask where they were going. She just follwed him.

xXxXxXxXx

Chad looked at his clock. It was 1:03.

Sonny was asleep next to him in his car.

"Sonny, wake up," he sook her.

"W -wha?"

"Wake up," he whispered.

"Wh -where are we?"

"My house. You're sleeping over."

Her year stained cheeks blushed, "Okay."

"Come on."

xXxXxXxXx

"Here," he threw a shirt at her.

She rolled her eyes, "Thanks .."

"You can wear it as pajamas.

xXxXxXxXx

_Woah. That's too short._

She blushed, "Chad, where am I gonna sleep?"

"Either the couch or my bed with me."

"Can I , uhh - "

"Yeah. Come on."

xXxXxXxXx

Sonny looked at the clock. It was 4. And she still couldn't fall asleep. She's been crying the whole time.

_Great. And now he probably thinks I'm pathetic._

She started crying again.

Chad couldn't asleep, either. He was worried. And he heard her crying all night.

He turned around and put one of his arms around her waist and he used the other to stroke her hair, "Shh. It'll be _okay_."

"Chad? I'm so - sorry."

He pulled her closer to him, "It's _fine_. You didn't do _anything_ wrong. Just try and get some sleep," he whispered in her ear.

She blushed, "Okay. Thank you."

_"I love you."_

She smiled for the first time in a long time.

_"I love you, too."_

xXxXxXxXx

Sonny woke up, "Chad?" she yawned.

He groaned, "Sonny."

He hit him lightly, "Get up!"

"Five more minutes.. "

"No. We _need_ to talk."

He groaned, "_Again_?"

"Look, I - I realized that I was stupid."

He turned to face her, "About what?"

"Everything. I can trust you and I want to be with you. Love you. I wanna take a chance."

He smiled. Not a smirk. A smile.

He kissed her, "Okay," he breathed.

"I love you."

"I love you. too."

His lips met her's again. He licked her lips, asking for access. And she allowed it. He pushed and went on top of her, still making out with her. His hands landed on his waist and her's landed on his neck. She started running her hands through his hair.

"Wow," they both said after they pulled away.

They both laughed.

He tried kissing her again, but she pulled away.

"I, uhh, - "

"Don't want to go too fast? Most girls don't."

"Most girls? How many girls have you been with?"

"I am a heartthrob .. "

"Am I just _another_ girl to you?"

"No, you're very different. Especially since you pulled away. Most girls _wouldn't_ do that to Chad Dylan Cooper."

She laughed and pushed him, "Chad."

"Kidding. You know I love you."

She laid on his chest, "Yeah."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Whatever you're doing, if that's okay .. ?"

"Well, I'm taking this girl out. I think you might know her. Her name's Sonny Allison Monroe."

"Oh, then I'm deffinantly doing what you're doing," she smiled and kissed him again.

He pulled away, "Where to?"

"The bathroom to get ready."

"You look _great_."

"Chad. I'm a _mess_."

"Yeah ... Do you need to go home - "

"Nope. Do you have a plug in your bathroom?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I keep everything in my bag," she said pulling a curling iron our of her bag.

He laughed.

**oOoOoOoOo**

**They were so OOC. That's okay.**

**Review. :D**

**oOoOoOoOo**


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